Remembering Alexis – Finding perspective in love and loss
Alexis on her 18th birthday
A book review by Joe Gschwendtner with photos and illustrations submitted by Margaret Rhyne
A white cottage with red trim sits pertly at the south entrance to the Allis Ranch in Sedalia. It’s Alexis’ House, a memorial to the daughter of Margaret Marshall Rhyne. A single glance does not suffice. If only the walls could talk! The door to that house can be found in your heart and in Remembering Alexis, a must-read account of selfless love and commitment.
Alexis was born to Margaret in 1975. At five months Margaret learned that Alexis would never talk, walk, or be remotely normal. Impossibly, doctors advised Margaret she would never know why. It was the harshest of welcomes to the world of motherhood.
With the expectations of life crushed by reality, the normal human response is surrender, adjustment, and acceptance. Margaret refuses to concede and the reader joins her through the emotional twists and turns. A day did not pass without her asking, “Why me?”
Margaret persevered relentlessly. Being strong is not a 24-hour thing, and demons of self-doubt and despair ravaged her head in those lonely hours of the night. How would her saga end? Could her daughter ever really know and love her, since Alexis’ sweet acknowledgements to words, noises, and images were the only feedback Margaret would ever receive?
Alexis’ and Margaret’s story pivots on the choice that fate handed Margaret and her response to it. Morgan Freeman framed it well in the Shawshank Redemption: “Get busy living or get busy dying.” With faith in hand, Margaret bravely chose the former. By refusing to “Oprahfy” her life screaming “victim,” she accepted this impossible assignment from God.
The end of this story is terribly abrupt. Without warning, Alexis leaves forever. An unspoken requirement for perspective permeates all those who gather in celebration of her life. The answer is everywhere, palpable, and clear. Her work was over; it was time to move on.
Postscript:
Alexis’ House (one mile south of Wolfensberger and State Highway 105) was built from a 1910 Sears catalogue order. It was in its initial stages of renovation when Alexis died in 2005.
Remembering Alexis, Finding Perspective in Love and Loss by Margaret Marshall Rhyne is available at local shops, bookstores, and Amazon.com, justly earning its five-star rating.
To learn more about the special significance and colorful history of Alexis’ House, visit the website, www.rememberingalexis.com.
