Mother’s Day in need of a makeover
by Anthonette Klinkerman
Let’s face it – Mother’s Day is a complete misnomer. Ask any mom out there if she gets an entire day to herself without someone needing something, or some domestic chore that needs doing, and she’ll probably laugh in your face. I propose renaming the day to more accurately portray what happens the second Sunday of May: Mother’s Hours. We can create a logo with a tiny margarita glass to symbolize these precious minutes.
Come on, you know moms have to slam their mimosas at brunch before any small child at the table needs to be taken to the bathroom or spills something. The second brunch is over it’s back to the same old same old – laundry, kids to look after, a house to tidy.
In all probability mom arranged her own brunch anyway as she knows her husband will wait too long to call, and they would end up having brunch seating at 6:00 at night. Naturally, this is AFTER she honors her own mom and grandma, and she makes sure her husband’s mom is acknowledged on the off chance he forgot to pick up a card or something.
The only way mom will get even a full hour of peace is if there happens to be a massage in her future. Of course, the massage will have to be scheduled mid-week, not on that actual Sunday because, you know, she has to spend that day being adored by her family. The adoring family, however, will fail to notice the spotty bathroom mirrors and overflowing laundry hamper. The cat will gaze adoringly, too, but only because no one fed him.
A major discrepancy revealed itself in that on Father’s Day fathers are pretty much expected to be gone golfing all day. Mom getting six or more hours to herself on her day? Puh-leez.
My vision of a real Mother’s Day is therefore more along the lines of Father’s Day. I’m thinking moms could hit Vegas. After a kid-free flight, the hotel would provide room service, and a masseuse, and would confiscate all phones so no one interrupts mom’s time to ask her where their science report is, or if she has seen his wallet. With proper planning, the wallet will be right in mom’s adorable purse.
For now, soak up the attention – you’re down to about 45 more minutes before someone needs you to find something.
